In every organization, decisions get made every day; some major, some minor. Yet leaders often overestimate how much buy-in they actually have for those decisions. They announce a new direction, outline the plan, maybe even explain the logic, and still encounter resistance. Why?
Buy-in doesn’t start when the decision is made. It starts when people feel heard.
As opposed to what we call 1st or 2nd leaders, 3rd leaders don’t just make the right decisions, they build the right foundation for those decisions. That foundation is trust, and trust is built through voice, clarity, and shared ownership. Let’s break down how to earn real buy-in, not just compliance:
People Support What They Help Shape
A core principle of 3rd leaders is: Voice ≠ Vote. Your team doesn’t need to make the final call in order to support it, but they do need to feel like their perspectives were considered. That’s what separates top-down directives from shared direction.
When people feel like decisions happen to them instead of with them, they disengage. When they feel like they had a voice (especially early in the process) they are more likely to invest in the outcome, even if it wasn’t their first choice. Before announcing a tough change or strategic shift, ask: “Who will be affected by this decision? What context or insights do they have that I might be missing?”
Then actively invite that insight. Set clear boundaries: “We are moving in X direction, but I want your input on how we execute it best.”
This approach builds both clarity and commitment. You’re not outsourcing leadership, you’re deepening engagement.
Listening Isn't Slowing Down
There’s a misconception that involving your team in decision-making slows everything down. Sure, if you poll everyone about everything, you lose momentum. However, 3rd leaders don’t confuse urgency with autonomy. They know that a little bit of listening up front can prevent weeks of rework and resistance later.
Think of listening as part of the decision-making process, not a delay. It’s how you test for blind spots, uncover risks, and build solutions that actually work in practice, not just on paper. Ask these before you move forward:
- "What's missing from my view?"
- What's likely to get in the way of this working?"
- What would make this feel more workable to the team?"
When leaders take time to sense before they solve, the team moves with them, not against them.
Tie Decisions to Purpose, Not Just Process
One of the fastest ways to lose buy-in is to explain what is happening without clarifying why it matters. This is where so many leaders stumble, they focus on the tactical shift and forget to anchor the change in meaning.
We teach leaders to connect decisions to Team Key Results (TKRs) and broader organizational goals. When people understand how the decision supports the mission and how their role connects to that mission, it changes the emotional calculus. Even tough changes feel purposeful. For example, instead of “We’re cutting back this initiative,” you could say, “To stay aligned with our TKR around profitability, we’re focusing on what creates the most impact. This move supports that focus and it helps protect the jobs and priorities that matter most.”
Purpose gives people a reason to stay on board, even when it’s hard.
The Bottom Line
Buy-in doesn’t come from charisma. It doesn’t come from having the perfect plan. It comes from building the kind of leadership relationship where people feel seen, heard, and respected. In a world where teams are stretched and strategy can shift overnight, your greatest asset isn’t just your clarity, it’s your ability to bring others with you. At the end of the day, the best decisions don’t just look good on paper. They move people forward, and people only move when they feel like they matter.