When disruption hits, whether it’s a restructuring, an external change in the market, or a shift in strategy, leaders tend to move quickly toward solutions. They want to steady the ship, communicate a new plan, and get everyone aligned on “what’s next.”
However, there is a crucial step that too many leaders skip: mourning.
When the status quo is disrupted, your people experience loss. It might not be the loss of a person, but it’s still the loss of something familiar, the way things were: a trusted routine, a known structure, a comfortable rhythm. Even positive change can trigger resistance if it dismantles what people have come to rely on.
Yet, time and time again, we see that leaders expect their teams to leap straight from disruption to adaptation, skipping the very human process that allows people to emotionally catch up.
You Can’t Skip Mourning to Get to Adaptation
The instinct to move fast is understandable. As a leader, you see the bigger picture. You understand the “why” behind the change and can already visualize the benefits on the other side. However, your people aren’t there yet. Their brains are still processing the loss of what was. When leaders ignore that, morale suffers, trust erodes, and performance declines.
Mourning isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of humanity. It’s the psychological process that allows people to acknowledge what’s changed, articulate what’s been lost, and emotionally prepare for what’s next. You aren’t working with robots, you’re working with real human beings.
Compassionate Leadership Creates Space to Mourn
As a compassionate, caring, human leader, your role isn’t to rush people through grief; it’s to guide them through it.
That means intentionally giving your team space to process out loud what has changed and how it affects them. Ask questions like:
- “What feels hardest about this change right now?”
- “What are we losing that we’ll need to replace or reimagine?”
- “What’s one thing you hope stays the same through this transition?”
These conversations don’t just help people vent; they help them metabolize the change. When team members feel heard and supported, their brains start to release the emotional resistance that keeps them stuck in the past. Only then can true adaptation begin.
Mourn, Then Move
Every leader wants their team to move forward quickly after a disruption. The problem is, lasting adaptation never comes from speed. It comes from emotional alignment. When you give people space to mourn the loss of the status quo, you create a bridge from what was to what’s next. You help your team move through change, not around it.
The next time your team faces change, resist the urge to rush to action. Instead, pause and ask: Have I given my people space to mourn what’s ending before asking them to embrace what’s beginning?
When they arrive on the other side, they do so with renewed energy, trust, and clarity, ready not just to adapt to the new reality, but to own it.